Today, I made an important strategic move that will, without a doubt, increase my efficiency as a development worker in the DR – I went to church.
I had been many times to the Evangelical church, as my host parents attend religiously (pun intended), but had never been to the Catholic church, much closer to where I now live. What with it being Mothers’ Day, there was no time like the present, so I decided to stop by both to see what was shaking.
The Catholic service was very normal, adhering to tradition, to the extent that a young boy appointed acolyte was dressed in layers in the Caribbean, the robes over his own clothing. The Evangelical service, as usual, provides much material for interesting blogging.
There was all the usual loud group praying, and even louder group singing. But in honor of the day, a group of 15 year old girls prepared an anti-abortion, anti-drinking, and anti-disobeying-your-mother mini-drama, complete with street-thugs and old women, played by the same youngsters. To bring it all home, the pastor embarked on a heart-felt Mothers’ Day gospel, that somehow evolved, or devolved, into 6th grade sexual education. I always have a hard time understanding this man’s accent, but when I tuned in to the subject matter, I made a special effort to pay close attention. The best parts went something like this:
Pastor: Women ovulate every month.
Congregation: Blessed God!
Pastor: Then they have sexual relations, with their vaginas.
Congregation: Glory to God!
Pastor: And each time a man ejaculates, there are 7 thousand sperm!
Congregation: God be lifted up!
Pastor: And do you know what a virgin is? A young girl who has not known a man.
Congregation: Allelujah!
So on and so forth…
Sometimes I think they would “Allelujah” no matter what, as long as their pastor was confident in what he verily yelled at them, fists pumping all the while. I think he could very well say “It’s recently been discovered that eating 6 mangos a week will kill you” and they would support him to the very edge of the earth, although many have been known to eat that quantity in a single sitting.
I guess it’s good to know who’s got your back.
1 comment:
Haha I had to laugh because I think otherwise I'd cry. Oh developing countries and women's (reproductive) rights.
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