Dominicans Do the Darndest Things (written 7.15.08)

This will probably be a work in progress, an annotated list if you will, of things that Dominicans do that, to me, stand out as unique in one way or another.

- Say "But it's so early" each time you try to leave the house, even if it's 10:00 at night.
- Pronounce my name 180 different ways, even when I spell it out or pronounce it very clearly with a Spanish accent (sounds like "Meeka"). Is it really that hard?
- Allow their children to be naked way later in life than we would ever think about doing. Once they get to a certain age, they dawn a t-shirt, but may still wander around completely bottomless.
- Lay on the cement floor, with or without a pillow, to "coge fresca". The first time I saw my host dad doing this, I thought he was drunk.
- State the obvious in most situations. (i.e. You're walking down the street and it’s drizzling: "Te moje!" You're walking down the street eating a mango: "Comiendo mango." If it's 100+ degrees outside: "Esta sudando!")
- Put so many people on one motorcycle that you can't even tell who the driver is.
- Be completely appalled if you go out of the house between the hot hours of 12:00 and 4:00. Or anytime after 8:00. Or if you want to live alone. Or if you want your coffee without sugar. Or if you don't use rollers in your hair.
- Call my name, or something that resembles it, incessantly from afar, unphased by my constant responses of "si" and "woo". When I arrive and try to initiate conversation, stare silently, mouth agape. (Fortunately, only those age 4 and under tend to do this.)
- Call me "linda" (pretty) when I haven't washed my hair, put on make-up, or even cleaned my clothes in a considerable amount of time.
- Tell me I'm putting on weight and expect me to take it as a compliment - which, after an internal struggle, I do.
- Consider a pair of shorts and a machete to be perfectly acceptable summer-time work attire. Or walking down the street attire. Or going to the store attire. "No shirt, no shoes, no business" is as foreign here as I am.
- Hiss and make hand motions at me and expect me to respond positively.
- Be very excited about a meeting that's coming up in 3 days, and then completely forget to go.
- Have 3 first names, and then give two of their children the same name.
- Throw trash in their own front yards, and then take their broom outside to sweep the streets.